D&D, Trigun Style
by Luna-Kitsune-Blu
Summary: Everyone loves RPG, so why can't Vash and crew? Knives as the Dungeon Master, Legato as the Spell Caster, Wolfwood as the Elf, and Vash...drunk off his butt from Mountain Dew --'


*Dungeons and Dragons, Trigun Style*  
  
"Legato, you have entered the door to the North. You are now alone in a dark room. The pungent stench of mold fills the-"  
  
"WHERE ARE THE CHEETOES?!" Vash called, head popping out of the kitchen door.  
  
Knives rolled his eyes, annoyed his little Dungeon Master speech was cut short by his twin brother. "It's right next to you," he answered back. Looking down at the counter, Vash spotted the cheesy goodness and popped back into the kitchen.  
  
"I cast a spell!" Legato said, happily.  
  
"WHERE'S THE MOUNTAIN DEW?!" Vash yelled again from his cave of food.  
  
"In the fridge, duh!" Knives called back, not hearing what Legato was saying.  
  
"I wanna cast a spell!" the psycho whined.  
  
"CAN I HAVE A MOUNTAIN DEEEEW!?" the broom head asked, once again popping his head out.  
  
His brother nodded. "Yes, you can have a Mountain Dew," he replied, "just go and get it."  
  
Legato looked over his spell list. "I can cast any of these, right? From the list?" he asked, pointing to conform.  
  
"Yeah," Knives said, messing with his little mound of dice. "Any of the first level ones."  
  
"I'M GETTING A SODA!" Vash screamed. "ANYONE ELSE WANT ONE?!" He waited a second, not hearing a request, before going on. "HEY KNIVES, I'M NOT IN THE ROOM, RIGHT?!"  
  
"What room?"  
  
"I wanna cast magic missile!" the hand licker beamed.  
  
"THE ROOM WHERE HE'S CASTING ALL THESE SPELLS FROM!" Vash yelled back.  
  
"But he hasn't cast anything yet!" his brother corrected.  
  
"I am if you were listening!" Legato huffed. "I'm casting magic missile!"  
  
Knives cocked an eyebrow at his second-hand-man. "...Why are you casting magic missile when there is nothing to attack here?"  
  
"I...I umm..." Legato searched for the words. "I'm attacking the darkness!" he exclaimed. Everyone burst into laughter.  
  
"Ok, fine!" Knives said after stopping the snickers. "You attack the darkness. Now there is a elf in front of you!" Legato played along with a surprised 'whoa'.  
  
"That's me, right?" Wolfwood asked, looking at the upside-down character sheet in his hands.  
  
Knives ignored the priest. "He's in a brown tunic, has grey hair and blue eyes."  
  
"No I don't," Wolfwood corrected, "I have grey eyes."  
  
"Lemme see that sheet," the plant said, ripping the sheet from priest's grasp. After turning it right side up, he looked at the character stats. "It says blue."  
  
"I know!" Wolfwood insisted. "But I want GREY eyes."  
  
"Whatever," Knives grunted. He looked over the two other players at the table, doing nothing. "You guys can talk to each other now if you want," He added.  
  
"Hello." Legato said, moving his little clay piece to make it look like it was talking.  
  
"Hello!" Wolfwood said with a grin, doing the same. Knives rolled his eyes.  
  
"I am Legato, Sorcerer of Light!"  
  
"If you are a Sorcerer of Light, then why did you need to cast magic missile?" Wolfwood spat. Once again the room was incased in laughter...mostly Vash's, seeing as he was getting quite a sugar high from all the Mountain Dew.  
  
"Ok...ok..." Knives said, trying to clam down. "You guys are being attacked."  
  
"DO I SEE THIS HAPPENING?!" Vash slurred from the door way.  
  
"NO!" Knives hissed, "You are outside by the Tavern!"  
  
"COOL! I GET DRUNK!"  
  
Knives sweat dropped. "Ok, seven Orcs have surrounded you."  
  
"How can they surround us?" Wolfwood asked. "I have 'watch dog' cast!"  
  
"No you don't," hissed Knives.  
  
"I'M GETTING DRUNK!" Vash said, chugging another Mountain Dew while sporting his orange and green tie...around his head... "ARE THERE ANY GIRLS THERE?!"  
  
"I do too," bickered Wolfwood. "I remember you asked me if I wanted to cast an opening spell and I did 'watch dog'!"  
  
"DID NOT!" snapped Knives.  
  
"ROLL THE DICE TO SEE IF I'M GETTING DRUNK!" screamed Vash, the pile of Mountain Dew cans growing.  
  
Knives let out a short 'grr' before doing as his twin asked. "You are," he mumbled.  
  
The sugar-high plant grinned. "ARE THERE ANY GIRLS THERE?!"  
  
"You totally did!" Wolfwood said, pointing a finger at Knives. Legato by now was sitting back, enjoying the prime entertainment.  
  
"I did," began Knives, "but you never said you were casting that spell, so the Orcs are attacking, okay?!"  
  
"ORCS?!" Vash screamed, totally wasted. "I HAVE A ORC KNIFE! IT GETS +9 ON ORCS!"  
  
"BUT YOU AREN'T THERE!" screamed Knives, slamming his fists on the table just as the door to the room creaked open. The game pieces went flying, along with all the dice...most of which beaned Legato in the face. "YOU ARE IN THE TAVERN GETTING DRUNK!"  
  
Vash popped out of the kitchen, still screaming on the top of his lungs while the insurance girls watched in the hallway. "OK! BUT IF THERE ARE ANY GIRLS IN THERE, I WANT TO SCREW THEM!!!"  
  
~fin~  
  
*thankies to CyberMoonStudioes for the idea and most of what they are saying. I don't own any of this fic, so if you sue, you ain't getting a cent!* ~Blu 


End file.
